brick wall

brick wall
hit hard
ow
brain slam
overwhelm
how
can I wrap my head round this

too much to take in
too much to take hold
I make a pretense
that it makes sense
but it’s just self defense
for my overloaded mind

no idea 
what I am doing
really

out of my depth
paddling frantically
trying to keep the nose above
the waves of data
opinions
rules
information
stuff
stuff
and more stuff

not enough head space
not enough mind pace
I take an offense
at the nonsense
but it’s just my conscience
so my overburdened heart

can sadly say 
at least I tried
truly

is that enough?
too bad if not
that’s all, folks!
it’s the best I can do 
today

but as I sit here 
spent and scattered
cradling my brick wall bludgeoned soul
I sigh
time to stop now
I will try again 
tomorrow