(my unfinishing)

I think I am addicted
to closure
happy ever after
that’s a wrap

I believe I may be addicted
to answers
solutions
results

And I realise I am addicted
to triumph
success
victory

I think I may be 
broken
actually
and I don’t like it very much at all

Always the need to achieve
explain
convince
perform
attain

Lest I discover again
I am broken
actually
and I don’t like it very much at all

So begins my unfinishing
forcing my eyes to
fearlessly examine the damage
unflinchingly tally the flaws

Learning to be comfortable
with incomplete
with yet to be
with patchwork me

Wrestling for contentment
with the mess
and all the rest
my loose split ends

And in the relaxing
releasing the tyranny of conclusion
embracing all to be continueds
as I make space for grace

The molten gold of mystery
what if
not yet
plan B

Pours steadily in
binding my breaks
completing my cracks
perfecting my piecemeal

Invoking new habits
evolving my
wholly holy
unfinishedness